You're Not the Same Person I Married…
February 13, 2025
You're Not the Same Person I Married…
Entrepreneurs are wired to chase success, often at the expense of their energy, their relationships, and, ultimately, their happiness. The relentless pursuit of business growth and achievement can slowly chip away at the very essence of who they are. Until, one day, they hear words that cut deeper than any financial setback or business failure:"You’re not the same person I married."
That’s exactly what happened to John Mashni , a driven entrepreneur, lawyer, writer, professor, and movie producer. He was someone who had seemingly "made it" by traditional standards. Yet, despite all his achievements, the person his wife had fallen in love with was fading. And that realization changed everything.
John's story isn't just about business—it's about rediscovering joy, creativity, and the freedom to be himself again. And if you're an entrepreneur feeling disconnected from the passion that once fueled you, this story might just be the wake-up call you need.
Listen to the full podcast episode
The Moment That Changed Everything
John Mashni had spent years building his career, wearing multiple hats in the process. He was highly respected, accomplished, and—on paper—living the dream. But success came at a cost. The long hours, high expectations, and constant pressure turned into a cycle of burnout and disconnection.
One day, his wife looked at him and said it straight: "You're not the same person I married."
Those words hit hard. It wasn't about his career or financial success—it was about the fundamental change in his spirit, his energy, and his joy. He was no longer the fun, creative, passionate man she had fallen in love with.
John had spent so much time doing that he had lost sight of being.
He knew something had to change.
The Path to Reinvention
For John, the journey back to himself started with a simple but powerful step: creativity.
Instead of just working in his business, he started working on himself. He began writing children's books with his kids—not as a business venture, but as a way to reconnect with the joy of storytelling. In just 15 minutes a day, he rekindled the creative spark that had once fueled his dreams.
One of those books, CinderToot , became a fun, lighthearted project—a playful twist on Cinderella that reminded John of the kind of person he used to be.
But more importantly, it helped him rediscover the energy, impact, and inner peace that had been buried under the weight of his professional ambitions.
A Personal Parallel: My Own Wake-Up Call
John’s story hit home for me in a way I didn’t expect.
In the summer of 2021, my life took a tragic turn when my brother was murdered . It was a moment that shattered everything I thought I knew. Grief has a way of forcing you to take a hard look at your life, your choices, and who you are at your core.
Up until that point, I had been successful in business, but I wasn’t fully me. I had been keeping parts of myself locked away, thinking that vulnerability wasn’t necessary in entrepreneurship. But when my brother was killed, I realized how short life is—and how important it is to be real, open, and intentional about how we live.
That’s when I made a choice.
I started sharing my story. I launched The Big Fish Cares podcast, where I could connect with other entrepreneurs, tell their stories, and create a space for real conversations. It wasn’t just about business—it was about life. Like John, I had to reinvent myself. And in doing so, I found more fulfillment than I ever had before.
Why Entrepreneurs Need to Reinvent Themselves
Burnout isn’t just about exhaustion—it’s about misalignment. It’s what happens when the version of yourself that’s chasing success is no longer in sync with the version of yourself that truly feels alive.
The problem is, most entrepreneurs don’t even realize they’ve lost themselves until something forces them to take a step back. Sometimes, it’s a spouse saying, “You’re not the same person I married.” Other times, it’s a tragedy that shakes them to the core.
The key is not waiting for a breaking point to force you into change.
How to Start Your Own Reinvention
If you’re feeling disconnected from the energy, passion, and creativity you once had, here are some steps to help you find your way back:
1. Assess Where You Are (Know Thyself)
Be brutally honest with yourself. Are you excited about what you do? Do you have time for the things you love? Or are you just going through the motions? If you’re feeling stuck, it’s time to realign.2. Prioritize Joy & Creativity (Take Time Off)
Entrepreneurship can’t just be about scaling and strategy. It has to be about you . Find a way to inject fun back into your life—whether it’s writing, playing music, traveling, or simply making time to be with your family without distraction.3. Set Boundaries (Know Your 100%)
Success means nothing if you burn out along the way. Set clear limits on your work hours, unplug when needed, and be intentional about the time you spend with the people who matter most.4. Surround Yourself with the Right People
Entrepreneurship can be lonely. Find a community that challenges and supports you. Whether it’s a mastermind, a mentor, or a group of like-minded entrepreneurs, make sure you’re surrounded by people who help you stay true to yourself. I am currently in The True Self mastermind with Gino Wickman and Rob Dube and it has been great!5. Tap Into the Right Tools & Resources
If you want to maximize your energy, impact, and inner peace, you need the right framework. That’s why I love The 10 Disciplines and the book Shine —because they help me and other entrepreneurs stay aligned, avoid burnout, and operate at our best.Where Are You on Your Journey?
John Mashni’s story is a powerful reminder that who we are is just as important as what we do. If you’re an entrepreneur feeling exhausted, uninspired, or disconnected from the things that once made you come alive, now is the time to make a shift.
Don’t wait until your spouse tells you, “You’re not the same person I married.”
Don’t wait until tragedy forces you to wake up.
Start now.
Take the True Self Assessment
Are you living in alignment with your true self? Are you maximizing your energy, your impact, and your inner peace? Find out where you stand— take the True Self Assessment here : https://www.the10disciplines.com/assessment Because when you free your true self, you don’t just build a better business—you build a better life.
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September 11, 2025
Charlie Kirk — a young man who built one of the most powerful youth movements in America — was assassinated in front of thousands at a rally. A sniper, 200 yards away, silenced a voice mid-sentence. And in an instant, we were reminded of the fragility of life, the cost of vision, and the high price of freedom.
August 25, 2025
I used to think winning was about stacking more wins. Build it. Grow it. Repeat. Lately, I’m a lot more interested in how we build without breaking the people we love — including ourselves. This week on Big Fish Cares , I sat down with Jonathan D. Reynolds (CEO, Titus Talent Strategies ) to talk about purpose, fatherhood, faith, and the simple truth he keeps coming back to:“Most company problems are people problems.” The 15-year-old question At 15, Jonathan asked his parents what he was “created to do.” Their answer: live in the service of others . He didn’t love that answer then. He lives it now — helping leaders find the right people, and helping people find the work they’re built for. That turned into a business and a calling. My advice would be: if you’re still waiting for a lightning-bolt purpose, serve where you stand. Purpose shows up when your service gets specific. For-profit, for good Titus calls itself for-profit for good: build a healthy company and use the profits to help those who need it most. They set a goal to give $30M by 2030 and are already about 70% of the way there . That’s not performative — that’s operationalized generosity. What I would recommend: design comp plans and culture like a family you’d be proud of. Jonathan’s team incentive started as his kids’ allowance…and it works. Leading at work vs. leading at home We talked about the gap a lot of us feel: Compassionate at work, impatient at home. Driver in the office, bulldozer in the living room. Jonathan built a transition ritual before walking through the door — slow down, ask better questions at dinner (“What was the hardest part of your day?” “What brought you joy?”), and be there. That’s leadership too. When you can’t fix it Jonathan’s parents have been detained by the Taliban in Afghanistan . No charges. No clear path. He stood outside the White House with his daughter asking for help. Impossible to carry — and yet this line anchored him: “I can’t control that. I can control my trust. I can control my love. I can control whether I get bitter.” Stay low. Stay humble. Control what you can control. That isn’t a slogan. It’s survival for leaders getting hit by real life. Try this week One conversation: name a “people problem” you’re avoiding and address it directly. One boundary: pick a start/stop for work and keep it. One practice: give something away (time, cash, credit). Open hands move resources faster. If you’re carrying a lot right now, you’re not alone. The goal isn’t a perfect life. The goal is a grounded one. Listen to the episode: Apple Podcasts If this resonated, come do the work with us inside The Pond — founders who want growth and peace in the same breath











