You cannot delegate care
My friend asked me to help him get to the place where the problems stop. I had to tell him there is no such place.
We were outside at his place, late enough that the kids had been in bed a while, and the mosquitoes had found me. His wife came out with the spray. I made a joke about the good northern blood I had brought down with me and he told me they don't get that flavor down here.
Later that night he was not laughing. He named three of his own guys, one after another. "I don't want to think about his problems. I don't want to think about his problems. I don't want to think about his problems. I'd rather think about different types of issues."
I knew exactly what he meant. He wants to graduate. He wants the day the people stuff belongs to somebody else and he gets to sit in the tower thinking about recruiting and acquisition and the fun kind of hard. I've wanted that day my whole career. I've chased it through two companies and a divorce and a couple of rebuilds. So I told him the truest thing I know, and it wasn't what he asked for.
There is going to be a problem when you are seventy years old with a human being that you are going to need to care for. And you are never going to just be able to delegate that.
You cannot delegate care.
You can surround yourself with good men who share some of the burden. That is real and I recommend it. But then you will have to shepherd those men. Sharing the weight is not setting it down. You just gave it more shoulders and put yourself in charge of the shoulders.
The button
Every founder I sit with is reaching for the same button. He's got a different name for it depending on the week. Freedom. The next level. Out of the day to day. He believes it sits somewhere north of where he's standing, and that the day his thumb finds it, the humans become somebody else's department.
There is no button. It never stops. It's always just a linear thing.
A company that runs without your hands on the wheel every day is real and good. A company that runs without you caring is a different animal. If that is the one you want, sell it. I mean that literally. That is the actual exit, and most guys asking me for the button are asking for that one.
You can delegate the P&L. You can delegate the hiring funnel, the marketing, the production schedule, the collections calls, the whole calendar. I've helped a lot of guys do exactly that and it's some of my favorite work. What comes back every single time, on every org chart I have ever built, is the care. It just moves up. It moves to you.
Org charts only run one direction. Work goes down. Care comes back up. Build it as wide as you want and you are still the last stop on that pipe.
You hire a general manager so you do not have to manage twenty people. Now you shepherd one man carrying twenty people, and he is going to have a bad quarter and a sick kid and a night where he wonders if he is cut out for this, and he is going to call you. That is not a system failure. That is the system working exactly the way it was designed.
The burden does not get smaller. It gets more concentrated. That is the trade nobody puts on the brochure.
The delegation lie
Delegation is how you get your time back. Delegation is not how you get your heart back.
I watch founders try it anyway. They stop doing one on ones because the integrator handles that now. They stop knowing which guy just bought a house and which guy's marriage is quietly on fire. Six months later the culture has gone flat and they cannot figure out why, because on paper every seat is filled and every scorecard is green.
It went flat because the founder left. Not physically. He was at every L10. He left the part that held the thing together, and everybody felt it before anybody could name it.
I told my friend that night, you are a helper. Stop ignoring it. He helps his wife, his kids, his brother, his partner, his mom and dad if they called tomorrow. He'd drop everything. It's who he is. He just doesn't want it to be the job, because if it's the job then it never ends. It never ends. That is the answer.
Why this is good news, eventually
I know how that reads. It reads like a sentence handed down.
I don't experience it that way anymore, and it took getting stripped down to almost nothing to get here. It happened on a Thursday. I got home Friday. I sat in the pain hole for Friday, Saturday and Sunday and I didn't say one word anywhere, and everybody was waiting for me to talk. When I came out of it, about two hundred people had lit up green and about eight hundred had lit up red. Not one system survived that weekend. The care did. I've got every single person who showed up for me written down on a spreadsheet, and I still have it.
It is the only asset I own that I did not build.
So when a founder tells me he wants to get to the level where he doesn't have to deal with humans, what I hear is a man asking to be relieved of the only part that will matter to him at seventy.
I believe this is the biggest responsibility of the founder and of the visionary. They have to care for their people in a way that is Christ like. That is not a devotional line bolted on to make business advice sound holy. It is the job description. Everything else in this company of yours can be bought, hired, outsourced or automated. That cannot.
And I'm still catching myself on it. A name comes up on my phone and I know before I answer that this one is going to cost me an hour and some of my chest, and there's a half second in there where I'd rather let it ring. I've got a whole discipline built around presence with edges. When I'm there I'm there, when I'm not there I'm not there, and I hold that hard. But there's a version of that discipline that's just a better sounding word for hiding, and I don't always know in the moment which one I'm running.
The question he could not answer
At one point I asked him straight. What is inside of you that keeps you from being a bold, courageous leader? What happened in your life that made that scary?
He sat with it a long time and said, I don't know if there's anything that specifically happened. I just don't know if I see myself as that.
That is not a leadership problem. That is an identity problem wearing a leadership problem's clothes. And you cannot org chart your way out of an identity problem.
Here's what I'd ask you, and I'd rather you sit with it than answer fast.
Write down every person who is currently under your care. Not your reports. Your care. The ones who would call you in the middle of the night if the floor gave out.
Now find the one name on that list you have been quietly handing off to somebody else, because caring about that person costs you something you do not want to spend. You know which one it is.
I call mine delegation. Some days that is even true.
So what are you calling yours?
Prepared by Benny Fisher | Visionary Navigator | bennyfisher.com
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