Thirty thousand a month, recurring, for showing up and being Benny. It took losing all of it in one month to find out it was the thing holding me down.

Mosquitoes were working on all of us and somebody was passing the bug spray down a friend's back porch when he asked me how the thing ended.

I told him it started at two hundred and fifty dollars.

Not two hundred and fifty thousand. Two hundred and fifty bucks a month, per member, for me to get on a Zoom once a month with a handful of business owners and talk about owner stuff. Whatever they wanted. I'd bring a half hour topic and then we'd do an hour of questions.

I remember doing the math the first time. Six guys on a call, fifteen hundred bucks for the hour. And I thought, all right. That's cool. That's worth it. I was already doing that for free with my buddies, so getting paid for it felt like somebody had made a clerical error in my favor.

Two years later that number was thirty thousand dollars a month. Recurring. While I was still running my roofing company and drawing a salary there.

I did not build it on purpose. I built it the way you build most things that get away from you, one reasonable decision at a time.

The best deal I ever made

I didn't just show up and cash checks. I built their sales process. I trained their closers and their setters. I taught them to sell more so we could fill more groups, which meant more money for me, which meant I had to keep teaching them to sell more. That's a beautiful little machine when you're on the right end of it.

And the whole time, somebody else was paying to grow my personal brand. I spent two hundred thousand dollars on content in one year and had three video guys following me around, and I could afford it because of this thing. Somebody else was buying my highlight reel and I let him. I met a lot of the men in my life right now through that arrangement, and not one of those relationships came with a bill.

So when I say what I am about to say, I am not calling it a bad deal. It was a great deal. That is exactly what made it dangerous.

Where the handcuffs came from

Somewhere in year two I started to notice the shape of my own life.

I always knew I wanted to do my own thing. Always. It was never a question of if. But every month that thing paid me and I didn't have to chase it, didn't have to market, didn't have to sell. All I had to do was show up and be Benny. I've been in training for that role my whole life.

I put myself in a gold handcuff situation. That's the one thing I learned from the whole run. I wasn't paying attention. It started at two hundred and fifty bucks and by the time I looked up it was thirty thousand and I was asleep.

Here is what a gold handcuff actually is, because I think people use the phrase wrong. There is no lock on it. That is the entire trick. I could have walked out any month I wanted, and every month I did not, and I called that a decision. It is not money that traps you. It is money that removes the pressure that would have made you move. If you are comfortable right now, that is not evidence you chose well. That is the handcuff doing the exact job it is paid to do.

I did not take outside deals. Why would I? I put all my eggs in that basket, because every time I helped that thing grow, I grew with it. Perfectly logical. Also the reason I didn't build the thing I was actually called to build for two straight years.

Old Benny reads that paragraph and hears a compliment. He built it. He grew it. He earned it. I read it now and hear a guy getting paid very well to stop.

And I knew. That's the part I have to own. Three months before it ended I went and asked for a fifty fifty partnership on everything new. I laid the whole vision out. I said, I don't know how you can go wrong here, I'm your rainmaker, you don't have what I have and I don't have what you have.

We agreed to it. I was thrilled. I thought I had solved it.

Thirty to zero

Then it ended.

The how is not mine to put in public, because it involves other people and their lives are not mine to spend. What I'll tell you is that it ended fast, and it was not a negotiation, and I didn't see it coming that morning.

Thirty grand a month to zero the next month. Nothing.

And I was two years from having that thing at a hundred grand a month. I know that number is right. Marketing, education, implementation, coaches under us, fractional accounting, the whole stack. I had all of it drawn up. I had handed it to him three months earlier.

You want to know my actual first thought, sitting there with the number gone?

My gold handcuffs just got taken off.

I'm not being brave in hindsight. That was the thought, that week. Because it would have been very hard for me to fire myself from thirty thousand dollars a month. Nobody does that. I certainly wasn't going to.

God already knew I was not supposed to partner with him. I didn't know. I just felt like it was a good thing. And I was upset that the deal had been signed three months earlier, until I realized the timing was the entire point.

What it cost, honestly

It was a down year for my other company at the same time. I'd already cut my own salary from a hundred and fifty down to sixty to help the overhead. So the month the thirty went away, I was a guy with a reduced salary, no side income, and a family.

I also lost the machine. That arrangement had a disciplined, consistent guy keeping the content going. I suck at that part. All I want to do is show up and talk, and somebody else was feeding the system. That did not get replaced by grit. It got replaced slowly, badly, by me.

The other side

Every time something painful has happened in my life, I have instantly known it was for a greater purpose. Not eventually. Instantly. Sitting in it.

He said it back to me on that porch, that the other side of it is always better. Always. And I said yeah, every single time. At least when you're grounded in your authentic self.

The other side is only better if the man who walks through is the same man who walked in.

You can strip me down to zero tomorrow. Burn all of it. I'm going to be right here, I'm going to be faithful, I know God is going to make a way, and I'm going to go tell somebody about my life and we're going to start again and it's going to be fine.

I'd just ask you to leave my wife out of it. That one I'd like to keep.

I have not fixed the thing that put me in there. I've got a little addiction problem. I need to see it grow. Somebody puts a business in front of me and I can't help it, I start building it like it's mine. That's what made me valuable in there. That's also what kept me asleep. I still have it. I'm probably doing it to somebody right now.

Be honest about the number. You know it. You've probably known it for a while.

What is the check that is currently paying you to stay asleep?

Questions Founders Ask Me About Gold Handcuffs

What are gold handcuffs for a business owner?

Income that's comfortable enough to keep you from moving. There is no lock on it. It isn't money that traps you. It's money that removes the pressure that would have made you move, and every month you stay, you call it a decision.

How do I know if I'm wearing gold handcuffs?

Look at the check that pays you without you having to chase it, market or sell. If you're comfortable and you still haven't built the thing you know you were called to build, that comfort is not evidence you chose well. That's the handcuff doing the exact job it's paid to do.

Why is a great deal more dangerous than a bad one?

Because nobody walks away from a great deal. A bad deal pushes you out. A great one pays you to stop, one reasonable decision at a time. Mine started at two hundred and fifty bucks a month, and by the time I looked up it was thirty thousand and I was asleep.

What happens when the recurring income goes away?

For me it went from thirty thousand a month to zero the next month. It cost me. A reduced salary, no side income, and a family. But my first thought was that my gold handcuffs just got taken off, because I never would have fired myself from that check.

How does a founder break out of gold handcuffs?

Be honest about the number. You know which check is keeping you asleep, and you've probably known it for a while. Name it out loud, then ask yourself what you would be building right now if it went away tomorrow.

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If you want someone to sit across from you, help you name the check that's keeping you comfortable, and figure out what you were actually called to build, let's talk. Book a call with me here.

Benny Fisher

Visionary Navigator

See you in The Pond.