Real Estate Entrepreneur's Mental Health Breakdown Goes Viral: Ryan Scialabba

December 14, 2023

Join Benny Fisher and Ryan Scialabba in a revealing episode of The Big Fish Cares Podcast, where Ryan unveils his unfiltered journey marked by trials, triumphs, and transformation. From the highs of house flipping with his father, the lows of excessive alcohol use, and the awakening to authentic living, every moment is raw and real.

Whether you're driving, building, or reflecting — catch every episode of The Big Fish Cares Podcast on your favorite platform.

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By Benny Fisher August 3, 2026
Three rooms that taught me how to do this, two men who are gone, and a backyard that fills up on Thursday. There's a gift sitting in my house right now that I can't tell you about yet. It's for Thursday. Every Pond member who walks into that backyard is getting one. There will be plenty of other people there too, friends, families, folks who are just curious about what we're building, and I'm glad about every one of them. But this piece is for the members. I've been working on it quietly for a while and I keep walking past it and stopping. I'll tell all of you what it is next week, after everybody has gone home. Right now I just want to sit with how this feels for a minute. I didn't make it myself. I commissioned my friend Brad Dalton. Brad makes gifts out of clay, under the name Clay and Spirit. Gift-maker is a real job and one of the better ones I know of. Watching him build this thing was its own gift. He made it with joy. I mean actual joy, the kind you can see in a man's hands while he works. There's video. You'll get the video. The barbecue is sold out. We never sold a ticket. We just ran out of room. Members are coming. Friends are coming. People who are still deciding what they think about what we're building are coming. Spouses, kids, the whole thing. Somebody is going to be in the pool by noon and somebody else is going to be at the fire pit at eleven at night, and I already know exactly who both of those people are. I'm sitting here on a Saturday going over the list and I don't have great words for what I feel. So let me back into it. HOW I LEARNED TO DO THIS I believe we were built for each other. Not in a greeting card way. I believe God made every one of us a masterpiece and then made us so that we can't quite see our own work without somebody else standing in the room. I think that's on purpose. I've felt called to be the guy who gets people in the same room since long before I had a company to hang it on. It might be the only real purpose I've ever had. But the way I do it, I did not come up with any of that. I got taught. By three rooms and by a couple of men who are not here anymore. The first was VeeFriends. I had a Hangout Hawk, so a group of us would get on Zoom together, and then we'd end up in the same room in person now and then. I also had a Gift Goat, which meant Gary would randomly surprise you and drop something at your door. No occasion. No reason. Just a box on the porch. I remember thinking, man, this is really cool. This is the way it's done. Then I joined Steve Sims and the Distillery. Day one, before I had done a single thing to earn it, a thoughtful gift showed up with a handwritten letter. Day one. I knew right then that Steve was different. Then I went to a Speakeasy, and it was not a hotel conference room with a projector and bad coffee. It was just cool. Cool in a way I had never seen anybody pull off. Then I met John Ruhlin. This guy gave gifts for a living. Wrote the book on it, Giftology. John made you feel like you were his best friend inside of five minutes, and the wild part is that he made a few hundred people feel exactly that way and every one of them was telling the truth. John died in August of 2024. It's two years this week. Steve died last July. Neither one of them will be in my backyard on Thursday. Both of them will be. THE PART I HAD TO BE TAUGHT TWICE The other room that got me here is the 10 Disciplines with Gino Wickman and Rob Dubé. Couple years in now. That's where I stopped treating peace like a reward you collect after the business finally behaves, and started treating it like something you build on purpose, at the same time as everything else. Here is what I came out of all of it believing. Every driven entrepreneur is called to relationship. Called to connection. Called to generosity. Called to impact. Called to peace. Not one of those instead of the others. All of it, at once, on purpose. That's what The Pond came out of. Not a business plan. A pile of rooms that other people built for me, and the feeling that I owed somebody the same thing. WHAT I HAVE TO WATCH ON THURSDAY Old Benny runs this barbecue from the kitchen. Old Benny is checking the ice, counting chairs, watching the driveway, making sure the food trucks are on time, and he gets to the end of the night having hosted a great party he was never actually at. I know that guy. I still am that guy some days. So the thing I'm telling myself all week is simple. Be still. Stay in the moment. Let it be what it is. The gift is done. The people are coming. There is nothing left to manage. Whether I actually pull that off is a different post. ONE MORE THING We hit capacity this year, which still does not feel real to me. If you wanted to be there and could not get in, tell me. I'll put you on the list for next year, and next year we'll figure out how to make more room. Here is what I keep landing on. Experiences rock. Not a feed, not a nice email, not a well-designed announcement. A thing that actually happens to people, in a place, with other people in it. That is what Gary and Steve and John gave me, and it is the only thing I know how to hand back. But the thing I actually want to leave you with is this, and I want you to sit with it a second longer than is comfortable. Somebody built a room for you. Gary built one. Steve built one. John built one. Gino and Rob built one. Somebody, somewhere, made space for you before you had done anything to deserve it, and it changed the direction you were pointed. Have you built one for anybody yet? Not a group chat. Not a follower count. A room. With a door you hold open and a table you set on purpose. Who is sitting outside of yours right now, waiting on you to notice?
Founders advice
By Benny Fisher August 1, 2026
Somebody has to say it before the first of the month talks you out of what you built. July 31st my phone would not stop going off. One number came in. Then another. Then another. Four of the five roofing contractors I help navigate texted me what they closed for the month, and every one of them was just over a million dollars in a single month. I sat there at my kitchen table grinning like an idiot, texting back one hand at a time, proud of them in a way that is hard to explain to people who have never watched a founder claw his way to that line. The next morning I opened Facebook and the first post I read said every month starts at zero. I don't believe that. I don't believe it even a little. I used to. I lived it. Back in my selling days the first of the month was a hollow feeling in my stomach. Doesn't matter what you did in May. Board's blank. Go get it. And when I owned a roofing company selling something transactional instead of recurring, the feeling followed me right up the ladder into the owner's seat. The number resets, so the man resets with it. Here's what I've come to. Starting at zero is not humility. It's amnesia. Because the scoreboard is not the business. Your brand did not reset on August 1st. Your systems did not reset. Your skills did not reset. Your people did not walk in this morning dumber than they walked out last night. Every customer you touched last month still knows your name and still has a neighbor. Even the football thing gets used backwards. Guys love that line, last Friday's win doesn't give you a touchdown this Friday. Sure. The game resets. The season does not. The record does not. The seeding does not. The belief in that locker room that they know how to win, that absolutely does not. Nobody hands you seven points. Everybody hands you a program. The zero mindset feels hungry. That's why it sells. It sounds like the guy saying it is more disciplined than everybody else. What it actually does is erase the only thing that separates owning a business from working a commission job, which is compounding. If your January truly has no advantage over your December after ten years, you don't own a company. You own a job with your name on the truck. And I think there's something underneath it that nobody says out loud. Zero is a hole. When you start the month in a hole, you spend thirty days climbing out of it. That's fear driving. That's money trauma with a motivational filter on it. I know it because I ran on it for years and I was good at it, and being good at something that's eating you is the most dangerous place a founder can live. What I'm working on, and I mean currently working on, not conquered, is running toward something instead of filling a hole. Love instead of fear. It's slower to build and it doesn't spike the same way. Fear gets you a great Tuesday. Love gets you a great decade. The first of the month, before I look at a single number, I try to be still long enough to be grateful for what carried over. Not as a soft opening. As accurate accounting. God already knew what last month was going to hold, and He knows what this one holds, and I don't have to strain against the calendar to prove I deserve to be here. Old Benny would have opened the dashboard at 6:45am on August 1st with his jaw tight. Present Benny still catches himself reaching for the phone before he's even out of bed. Both of those are true today. I'm more there than I've ever been and I'm still catching it. So before you post about the blank scoreboard, ask yourself the honest version. Are you starting at zero, or did you just never build anything that compounds? What did last month leave behind that you haven't bothered to count? And what exactly are you running toward, or are you just running from the hole? Every month is a fresh chance. It's just not a blank one. Not even close. See you in The Pond .
By Benny Fisher July 13, 2026
I work with a roofing company owner who had a nagging feeling about his sales team. The numbers weren't bad. Close rate was acceptable. Average ticket was holding. But something wasn't landing and he couldn't name it. I told him to get in the truck. There's a limit to what a dashboard can tell you about a sales team. It shows outcomes. It doesn't show the tone of voice when the homeowner asked about financing. It doesn't show the awkward pause after price was mentioned. It doesn't show the rep who's technically following the process but emotionally checked out the moment he sensed resistance. Those things decide the sale. And they only show up when you're in the room. WHY LEADERS STOP RIDING ALONG At some point, most sales leaders get promoted out of the truck. They move into a role that's more reporting and less field. That's appropriate. But somewhere in that transition, they stop seeing the real thing and start trusting the reported version. The reported version is always cleaner than the real thing. What I see in ride-alongs is usually different from what the scorecards show. Reps who look great on paper asking the wrong questions. Reps who look average on the numbers but revealing real gifts when a genuine customer is in front of them. Habits nobody coached because nobody saw them. Small moments of disconnection that, over a thousand appointments, become a meaningful leak in the business. You can't coach what you can't see. WHAT A RIDE-ALONG ACTUALLY REVEALS When I ride along with a team, I'm not looking for someone to correct. I'm looking to understand. What's the energy like before the homeowner opens the door? Does the rep do any preparation? Is he thinking about this specific customer or running his standard routine? When the homeowner shares something personal, does he pause and acknowledge it, or move straight to the next question on the list? Those details tell me more about the sales culture than any report ever could. One of my clients changed his entire coaching approach after two days of ride-alongs. Not because he found a problem, but because he found a gift. One of his newer reps had a natural ability to slow down and really listen in a way the senior reps had lost. That insight came from being in the truck, not from reviewing the CRM. HOW TO START If you run a sales team and you haven't been on a ride-along in the last 30 days, that's where to start. Not to inspect. To understand. Ride with your best rep first. Then your newest. Then the one you're unsure about. Give yourself one day. You will learn something that no report has been able to tell you. The numbers show you what happened. The ride-along shows you why it happened. There's a difference between knowing your team's results and knowing your team. Both matter. You only get the second one by showing up. So when's the last time you got in the truck? If this article resonated with you, explore BennyFisher.com
Show More
By Benny Fisher August 3, 2026
Three rooms that taught me how to do this, two men who are gone, and a backyard that fills up on Thursday. There's a gift sitting in my house right now that I can't tell you about yet. It's for Thursday. Every Pond member who walks into that backyard is getting one. There will be plenty of other people there too, friends, families, folks who are just curious about what we're building, and I'm glad about every one of them. But this piece is for the members. I've been working on it quietly for a while and I keep walking past it and stopping. I'll tell all of you what it is next week, after everybody has gone home. Right now I just want to sit with how this feels for a minute. I didn't make it myself. I commissioned my friend Brad Dalton. Brad makes gifts out of clay, under the name Clay and Spirit. Gift-maker is a real job and one of the better ones I know of. Watching him build this thing was its own gift. He made it with joy. I mean actual joy, the kind you can see in a man's hands while he works. There's video. You'll get the video. The barbecue is sold out. We never sold a ticket. We just ran out of room. Members are coming. Friends are coming. People who are still deciding what they think about what we're building are coming. Spouses, kids, the whole thing. Somebody is going to be in the pool by noon and somebody else is going to be at the fire pit at eleven at night, and I already know exactly who both of those people are. I'm sitting here on a Saturday going over the list and I don't have great words for what I feel. So let me back into it. HOW I LEARNED TO DO THIS I believe we were built for each other. Not in a greeting card way. I believe God made every one of us a masterpiece and then made us so that we can't quite see our own work without somebody else standing in the room. I think that's on purpose. I've felt called to be the guy who gets people in the same room since long before I had a company to hang it on. It might be the only real purpose I've ever had. But the way I do it, I did not come up with any of that. I got taught. By three rooms and by a couple of men who are not here anymore. The first was VeeFriends. I had a Hangout Hawk, so a group of us would get on Zoom together, and then we'd end up in the same room in person now and then. I also had a Gift Goat, which meant Gary would randomly surprise you and drop something at your door. No occasion. No reason. Just a box on the porch. I remember thinking, man, this is really cool. This is the way it's done. Then I joined Steve Sims and the Distillery. Day one, before I had done a single thing to earn it, a thoughtful gift showed up with a handwritten letter. Day one. I knew right then that Steve was different. Then I went to a Speakeasy, and it was not a hotel conference room with a projector and bad coffee. It was just cool. Cool in a way I had never seen anybody pull off. Then I met John Ruhlin. This guy gave gifts for a living. Wrote the book on it, Giftology. John made you feel like you were his best friend inside of five minutes, and the wild part is that he made a few hundred people feel exactly that way and every one of them was telling the truth. John died in August of 2024. It's two years this week. Steve died last July. Neither one of them will be in my backyard on Thursday. Both of them will be. THE PART I HAD TO BE TAUGHT TWICE The other room that got me here is the 10 Disciplines with Gino Wickman and Rob Dubé. Couple years in now. That's where I stopped treating peace like a reward you collect after the business finally behaves, and started treating it like something you build on purpose, at the same time as everything else. Here is what I came out of all of it believing. Every driven entrepreneur is called to relationship. Called to connection. Called to generosity. Called to impact. Called to peace. Not one of those instead of the others. All of it, at once, on purpose. That's what The Pond came out of. Not a business plan. A pile of rooms that other people built for me, and the feeling that I owed somebody the same thing. WHAT I HAVE TO WATCH ON THURSDAY Old Benny runs this barbecue from the kitchen. Old Benny is checking the ice, counting chairs, watching the driveway, making sure the food trucks are on time, and he gets to the end of the night having hosted a great party he was never actually at. I know that guy. I still am that guy some days. So the thing I'm telling myself all week is simple. Be still. Stay in the moment. Let it be what it is. The gift is done. The people are coming. There is nothing left to manage. Whether I actually pull that off is a different post. ONE MORE THING We hit capacity this year, which still does not feel real to me. If you wanted to be there and could not get in, tell me. I'll put you on the list for next year, and next year we'll figure out how to make more room. Here is what I keep landing on. Experiences rock. Not a feed, not a nice email, not a well-designed announcement. A thing that actually happens to people, in a place, with other people in it. That is what Gary and Steve and John gave me, and it is the only thing I know how to hand back. But the thing I actually want to leave you with is this, and I want you to sit with it a second longer than is comfortable. Somebody built a room for you. Gary built one. Steve built one. John built one. Gino and Rob built one. Somebody, somewhere, made space for you before you had done anything to deserve it, and it changed the direction you were pointed. Have you built one for anybody yet? Not a group chat. Not a follower count. A room. With a door you hold open and a table you set on purpose. Who is sitting outside of yours right now, waiting on you to notice?
Founders advice
By Benny Fisher August 1, 2026
Somebody has to say it before the first of the month talks you out of what you built. July 31st my phone would not stop going off. One number came in. Then another. Then another. Four of the five roofing contractors I help navigate texted me what they closed for the month, and every one of them was just over a million dollars in a single month. I sat there at my kitchen table grinning like an idiot, texting back one hand at a time, proud of them in a way that is hard to explain to people who have never watched a founder claw his way to that line. The next morning I opened Facebook and the first post I read said every month starts at zero. I don't believe that. I don't believe it even a little. I used to. I lived it. Back in my selling days the first of the month was a hollow feeling in my stomach. Doesn't matter what you did in May. Board's blank. Go get it. And when I owned a roofing company selling something transactional instead of recurring, the feeling followed me right up the ladder into the owner's seat. The number resets, so the man resets with it. Here's what I've come to. Starting at zero is not humility. It's amnesia. Because the scoreboard is not the business. Your brand did not reset on August 1st. Your systems did not reset. Your skills did not reset. Your people did not walk in this morning dumber than they walked out last night. Every customer you touched last month still knows your name and still has a neighbor. Even the football thing gets used backwards. Guys love that line, last Friday's win doesn't give you a touchdown this Friday. Sure. The game resets. The season does not. The record does not. The seeding does not. The belief in that locker room that they know how to win, that absolutely does not. Nobody hands you seven points. Everybody hands you a program. The zero mindset feels hungry. That's why it sells. It sounds like the guy saying it is more disciplined than everybody else. What it actually does is erase the only thing that separates owning a business from working a commission job, which is compounding. If your January truly has no advantage over your December after ten years, you don't own a company. You own a job with your name on the truck. And I think there's something underneath it that nobody says out loud. Zero is a hole. When you start the month in a hole, you spend thirty days climbing out of it. That's fear driving. That's money trauma with a motivational filter on it. I know it because I ran on it for years and I was good at it, and being good at something that's eating you is the most dangerous place a founder can live. What I'm working on, and I mean currently working on, not conquered, is running toward something instead of filling a hole. Love instead of fear. It's slower to build and it doesn't spike the same way. Fear gets you a great Tuesday. Love gets you a great decade. The first of the month, before I look at a single number, I try to be still long enough to be grateful for what carried over. Not as a soft opening. As accurate accounting. God already knew what last month was going to hold, and He knows what this one holds, and I don't have to strain against the calendar to prove I deserve to be here. Old Benny would have opened the dashboard at 6:45am on August 1st with his jaw tight. Present Benny still catches himself reaching for the phone before he's even out of bed. Both of those are true today. I'm more there than I've ever been and I'm still catching it. So before you post about the blank scoreboard, ask yourself the honest version. Are you starting at zero, or did you just never build anything that compounds? What did last month leave behind that you haven't bothered to count? And what exactly are you running toward, or are you just running from the hole? Every month is a fresh chance. It's just not a blank one. Not even close. See you in The Pond .
By Benny Fisher July 13, 2026
I work with a roofing company owner who had a nagging feeling about his sales team. The numbers weren't bad. Close rate was acceptable. Average ticket was holding. But something wasn't landing and he couldn't name it. I told him to get in the truck. There's a limit to what a dashboard can tell you about a sales team. It shows outcomes. It doesn't show the tone of voice when the homeowner asked about financing. It doesn't show the awkward pause after price was mentioned. It doesn't show the rep who's technically following the process but emotionally checked out the moment he sensed resistance. Those things decide the sale. And they only show up when you're in the room. WHY LEADERS STOP RIDING ALONG At some point, most sales leaders get promoted out of the truck. They move into a role that's more reporting and less field. That's appropriate. But somewhere in that transition, they stop seeing the real thing and start trusting the reported version. The reported version is always cleaner than the real thing. What I see in ride-alongs is usually different from what the scorecards show. Reps who look great on paper asking the wrong questions. Reps who look average on the numbers but revealing real gifts when a genuine customer is in front of them. Habits nobody coached because nobody saw them. Small moments of disconnection that, over a thousand appointments, become a meaningful leak in the business. You can't coach what you can't see. WHAT A RIDE-ALONG ACTUALLY REVEALS When I ride along with a team, I'm not looking for someone to correct. I'm looking to understand. What's the energy like before the homeowner opens the door? Does the rep do any preparation? Is he thinking about this specific customer or running his standard routine? When the homeowner shares something personal, does he pause and acknowledge it, or move straight to the next question on the list? Those details tell me more about the sales culture than any report ever could. One of my clients changed his entire coaching approach after two days of ride-alongs. Not because he found a problem, but because he found a gift. One of his newer reps had a natural ability to slow down and really listen in a way the senior reps had lost. That insight came from being in the truck, not from reviewing the CRM. HOW TO START If you run a sales team and you haven't been on a ride-along in the last 30 days, that's where to start. Not to inspect. To understand. Ride with your best rep first. Then your newest. Then the one you're unsure about. Give yourself one day. You will learn something that no report has been able to tell you. The numbers show you what happened. The ride-along shows you why it happened. There's a difference between knowing your team's results and knowing your team. Both matter. You only get the second one by showing up. So when's the last time you got in the truck? If this article resonated with you, explore BennyFisher.com
By Benny Fisher June 22, 2026
At a our recent Pond community founders session, I asked twelve founders to write down their top priorities right now. Business priorities. The things they're actively working to move forward. The average answer was eight. One person had eleven. Nobody had fewer than five. I'm not throwing stones. I've been that person. At one point I had so many priorities on my list that I carried it everywhere and accomplished almost nothing on it. The list made me feel productive. The results told a different story. Here's what I've observed from working alongside home service entrepreneurs from $3M to $20M: the busiest people in the business are often the ones moving the least. Not because they lack drive. Because they've spread their energy across too many fronts and the force behind each one becomes thin. The math doesn't work in your favor. Eight priorities means you're giving roughly 12% of your attention to each one. Important things get that 12%. Urgent things steal it. And at the end of the quarter, you look up and realize you've made incremental progress on everything and real progress on nothing. WHAT KEY PRIORITIES TEACHES US When I work with clients inside their operating rhythm, we talk about their KEY PRIORITIES. The three to five things that, if you move them in the next 90 days, will make the biggest difference to the business. Not twenty things. Not ten. Three to five. The constraint is the point. When you force yourself to name the three things that matter most, something important happens. You stop hiding behind the list. The low-priority items that felt urgent start looking like distractions. The important work that kept getting pushed down finally surfaces. One of my clients in roofing had been "working on" their hiring process for over a year. It was always on the list. But when we sat down and made it a KEY PRIORITY, with a clear outcome and a weekly check-in, it moved in 45 days. Not because they suddenly found more time. Because they finally decided it was real. Deciding something is real means making something else wait. That's the part most founders resist. THE COST OF INFINITE PRIORITY When everything is a priority, your team doesn't know what to protect. They're watching you, taking their cues from where you spend your attention. If you're scattered, they'll be scattered. If you keep pivoting, they'll stop trusting the plan. Clarity is a form of leadership. When you say, "These three things, this quarter," you give your team something to organize around. You give yourself a filter for decisions: "Does this serve one of our three priorities? No? Then it waits." That's not rigidity. That's focus. And focus, held for 90 days, compounds in ways that scattered effort never can. THE EXERCISE WORTH TEN MINUTES TODAY Write down everything you're currently treating as a priority. Get it all on paper. Then ask: If I could only move three of these in the next 90 days, which three would change the business the most? Circle those three. For right now, everything else is context, not priority. I've watched founders do this exercise and feel almost guilty, like they're neglecting the other eight items. That feeling usually passes around day thirty, when the three things are actually moving and they can feel the difference. Peace of mind and business momentum are not opposites. They tend to travel together. And both of them start with fewer priorities, held honestly, for 90 days at a time. So tell me: what are your three right now? If this article resonated with you, you can find more at BennyFisher.com Prepared by Benny Fisher | Visionary Navigator | bennyfisher.com
By Benny Fisher May 20, 2026
The rep who asks owns the conversation. The rep who just quotes is hoping. There's a real difference between those two sales cultures, and it shows up in your close rate every single month.
By Sol Espona April 2, 2026
There’s a moment every integrator hits: You’re on your third call of the day, the founder has changed direction twice on the same week, a new idea just got dropped into your inbox. The “priority” from yesterday is suddenly optional. And you’re sitting there thinking: How do I push back without sounding rude? How do I create boundaries without breaking trust? How do I stay calm without looking passive or apprehensive? And where is the healthy limit...for me, the founder, and the business? Just to realize that: If you don’t define the line, you will eventually cross it: emotionally, operationally, or relationally. But with all honesty, having worked with founders up close made me realize that they are supposed to be all over the place. And that the problem isn’t their chaos, the problem is when there’s no system to hold it. The Reality: Founders Live in Possibility, Not Process Founders are wired to see what doesn’t exist yet. They: Jump between ideas Spot opportunities mid-conversation Change direction based on instinct Think in vision, not execution If you try to “fix” that, you’ll fail, and worse, you’ll suffocate the very thing that makes the company grow. Sounds like a nightmare if you are a structured & systematic person, right? But as an integrator, your role isn’t to contain the founder. Your role is to translate them. The Shift: From Control to Channeling The real shift happens when you move from: Controlling ideas → Capturing them Resisting change → Structuring it What Actually Works (Without Losing Your Mind) 1. Build a “Parking Lot” for Ideas Not every idea deserves immediate execution: but every idea deserves to be seen. Create a simple system: A running idea list, categorized by urgency, impact, and alignment, r eviewed weekly with the founder This does two things: - The founder feels heard (so they stop repeating ideas) - You stay focused on what actually matters 2. Translate Vision into “Now, Next, Later” Founders think in everything, everywhere, all at once. You need to break that into: Now → What we are executing this week Next → What’s queued and being shaped Later → Ideas we’re not touching yet This becomes your anchor. When a new idea comes in, you don’t reject it, you place it. 3. Protect the Team from Whiplash Your team should not feel every pivot. If they do, you’re not integrating, you’re broadcasting chaos. Your job is to: Filter incoming ideas Decide what actually moves forward Communicate only what’s committed The founder gets flexibility. The team gets stability. You sit in the middle. 4. Create Decision Frameworks (So It’s Not Personal) When everything is subjective, everything feels urgent. Instead, define: What qualifies as a priority? What gets resourced immediately? What requires validation first? Now when a founder throws out an idea, you can respond with: “Love it. Let’s run it through the framework.” It removes tension and replaces it with process. 5. Anchor Yourself, Not the Founder This one matters most. If you rely on the founder for consistency, you’ll burn out. Instead, build your own: Weekly planning rhythm Clear metrics of success Defined operating cadence The founder creates motion and you create momentum. The Reframe: Chaos Is a Resource Inside every scattered idea is: A signal about market direction A reflection of the founder’s instincts A potential breakthrough Your job isn’t to say “no.” Your job is to say: “Not now” “Here’s where it fits” “Here’s how we execute it properly” The Hidden Requirement: This Only Works If the Founder Trusts the System This system requires something most founders underestimate: patience. Patience to: Let processes play out before judging them Understand team capabilities over time, not in snapshots Resist the urge to react to every new variable instantly Without that, every system feels “too slow,” even when it’s exactly what the business needs. Lack of patience turns chaos into mistrust And mistrust shows up like this: “Why isn’t this done yet?” (without context) “Let me just do it myself” “I don’t think the team can handle this” ...and mistrust usually leads to micromanaging: the worst terms and conditions in a company's environment. But the issue isn’t capability, it’s that the system hasn’t been given the space to work. Trust is not blind, it’s built through visibility from the integrator and open reception from the founder As an integrator, your role is to make the system: Transparent (so nothing feels hidden) Measurable (so progress is visible) Predictable (so outcomes feel reliable) And founders simply need to: be receptive. Key take: If you doubt yourself, people will doubt you too. Don't be scared to speak up! Don't be scared to say no! Communication is key 🔑 (but it goes both ways) But what happens if the Founder Goes Silent? There’s another moment integrators don’t talk about enough: Not chaos. Not too many ideas. But… nothing. No replies, no decisions, no clarity. You’re waiting on approvals, direction, or feedback, and suddenly the same founder who was everywhere is nowhere. This is where things quietly start breaking. Because in the absence of communication, you don’t get freedom, you get ambiguity. And ambiguity is where: Teams stall Assumptions multiply Frustration builds (fast) So what do you do? You don’t chase. You design around it. 1. Replace reactive communication with structured touchpoints If you rely on “when they reply,” you’ve already lost control. Instead, create: A weekly decision call (non-negotiable) A running document of pending approvals Clear deadlines for feedback Silence stops being a blocker when decisions have a container. 2. Move forward with “default decisions” Not everything can wait. Define in advance: What you can decide autonomously What requires explicit approval What gets paused Then communicate clearly: “If I don’t hear back by X, we’ll proceed with Y.” This isn’t being aggressive, it’s being operational. 3. Make the cost of silence visible Founders don’t ignore things out of malice, they’re just overloaded. Your job is to connect silence to impact. Not emotionally, but operationally: “This delay is blocking the team’s execution” “We’re at risk of missing X milestone” “We’re holding resources that could be reallocated” Clarity creates response. 4. Document everything When communication is inconsistent, memory becomes unreliable. So you build a system: Decisions logged Open items tracked Priorities visible at all times Not to protect yourself, but to protect continuity. Silence doesn’t mean you stop leading. It means you lead with more structure than usual. At the end of the day, this role isn’t about controlling chaos... It’s about holding it, shaping it, translating it. Giving it somewhere to go so it actually turns into progress. You will never “fix” a founder. And you’re not supposed to. What you can do is build something strong enough that their ideas don’t break the system every time they show up. There will be days where it feels like too much: Too many ideas Too many pivots Or not enough communication at all And in those moments, the question isn’t: “How do I make them change?” It’s: “How do I stay grounded enough to lead anyway?” Because that’s the real role of an integrator: Not reacting to the founder’s energy, but regulating the business around it. Not absorbing chaos, but converting it into clarity. And if you get it right: The founder doesn’t feel restricted. The team doesn’t feel overwhelmed. And you don’t feel like you’re constantly firefighting. Everything just… works. Not perfectly, but predictably (and believe me, most of the days that's good enough) So set the boundaries. Build the systems. Say no when it matters. Speak up when it counts. And most importantly: Don’t wait for stability to come from the founder. Be the one who creates it.
By Benny Fisher March 13, 2026
The sentence someone will use to summarize your life is already being written. The question is whether you are the one writing it. I have a confession about the obituary I would have written for myself ten years ago. It would have been a balance sheet. Revenue numbers. Trucks on the road. Proof that I had made something out of nothing. Proof that the people who doubted me were wrong. It would have been dressed up in success language, but underneath it would have been something much smaller than a life. It would have been a scoreboard. That version of Benny was chasing something he could never actually catch. Not because the goals were too big. Because goals were never the point to begin with. The Difference Between Success and Excellence Greg Furer , who founded Teach Passion Summit and has spent his career helping founders build intentionally, drew a line at this year's summit that I have not stopped thinking about. He said success is external. It is measuring yourself against someone else's results. Someone gets a new truck and suddenly you need a new truck. Someone hits a number and suddenly that becomes your number. You are always running someone else's race. Excellence is different. Excellence is measuring yourself against God's calling. Who did He design you to be, and are you moving toward that? It is inward, not outward. And here is the thing Greg said that hit hardest: when you chase excellence, success follows. But when you chase success, you never find either. I spent years chasing success. I was good at it, too. But I was miserable inside it because the scoreboard never stays still. You hit one number and the next one is already waiting. There is no arrival. There is only more. The Exercise That Changes Everything Greg walked the room through writing their own obituary. Not as a morbid exercise. As a clarifying one. He borrowed the framework from Stephen Covey, who calls it beginning with the end in mind. Close your eyes. You are in the room. The flowers are there. Someone is standing up to speak. What are they saying? Are they reading a balance sheet, or are they describing a person who loved well and lived true? I have written mine. And the gap between what it would have said at my worst and what I want it to say now is the story of my life. At my worst, the world was rewarding my performance. But my soul was starving for truth. I was numbing pain I had never learned to name, building a company I was using as proof of something, running hard toward a destination that had no peace in it. I would have told you I was successful. I would not have told you I was drowning. Goals Expire. Identity Endures. Greg said something I keep coming back to. He said goals expire, but your identity endures. Think about that for a second. Every goal you have ever hit is already in the past. The revenue target, the headcount milestone, the exit you worked toward. Gone. Filed away. The scoreboard resets. But who you became in the process, how you treated people, whether you showed up with integrity or fear, whether you loved your family or just provided for them, whether your faith was real or decorative, that does not expire. That is what outlives you. He also pointed out something that quietly levels you. Within three generations, your name will be gone from the face of the earth. Not your fingerprint. Not the way you made people feel. Not the values you modeled for your children. But your name. The legacy that endures is never the scoreboard. It is always the identity. The Sentence That Summarizes Your Life Greg borrowed this from John Maxwell. He said when you die, someone will summarize your entire life in one sentence. And the question is whether you are going to pick that sentence or let someone else pick it for you. I know what sentence I want. I want people to say that I lived with intention and honesty, that I loved my wife and my kids with my full presence and not just my provision, that my faith was quiet but real, that I made people feel seen, and that somewhere in the mess of my story, God used the broken parts to lead others toward freedom. The conviction I keep coming back to is simple: freedom fuels creativity, creativity fuels joy, and a life built on truth leads others home. That is the sentence I am writing with my days now. Not a goal. An identity. The Question Worth Sitting With Here is what Greg gave everyone in the room that day, and I want to pass it to you. Sit down and write your obituary. Not the version you would be proud to show people. The honest version. The one that reflects the actual decisions you are making right now with your time, your presence, your money, your relationships, your health, and your faith. Then ask yourself: is this the sentence I want? Because if it is not, that gap between where you are and where you want to be, that is not a problem. That is an invitation. Goals expire. You can always set new ones. But identity is built one quiet decision at a time, and the building is happening right now whether you are paying attention to it or not. This idea was shared by Greg Furer at Teach Passion Summit, a leadership conference for faith-based founders held in Pittsburgh. The next summit is January 27-28, 2027. Learn more at teachpassionsummit.com.
By Benny Fisher March 10, 2026
For the first five or six years of running Big Fish Roofing, I was holding a beach ball under water. That's not a metaphor. That's just what it was. I was doing drugs and alcohol through most of those years. Overeating, gambling, anything I could find to escape the weight I was carrying. And the whole time I was building a company, hitting numbers, hiring people, trying to look like I had it together. On the outside, things were moving. On the inside, I was a man underwater, holding down everything I refused to look at. My team got exactly what I was giving them. The energy of someone who was never enough. Someone who was working out of fear and calling it drive. Someone who had no idea how to lead because nobody had ever shown him how to live. I did not have mentors. I did not have good leadership around me. I had a company and a closet full of things I was never going to open. The Beach Ball Always Comes Up Pastor Matt Keller from Next Level Church spoke at the Teach Passion Summit earlier this year and gave me language for something I lived but could never quite name. He talked about the five limits that hold leaders back. Thoughts, team, culture, personal life, and heart. And he used this image that stopped me cold. He said the pain and hurt and disappointment that leaders accumulate is like a beach ball in a swimming pool. You can sit on it, hold it down, press it under the water with everything you have. But it will come up. The only question is when and where. For me, it came up in the way I led. In the culture I created without knowing I was creating it. In the people who could feel something was off even when they could not name it. When your heart is carrying that much weight and you have not dealt with any of it, it shows up everywhere. In your decisions. In your reactions. In who you hire and who you keep and who you push away. You can't scale what you refuse to process. I know because I tried. Matt showed a picture of his home office. Clean, beautiful, everything in its place. Then he showed the closet. Stuff piled up to the ceiling. Barely contained. One open door away from falling on you. He said nobody is going to clean that closet but you. Mine had been building for years. The feeling of not being enough. The need to prove people wrong. The weight of a small child counting on me when I had no idea what I was doing. The money I made that I immediately found ways to blow because some part of me did not believe I deserved to keep it. All of it was in there. And I was numbing every single day so I would not have to open the door. I thought I was being strong. I thought pushing through was the same thing as processing. It is not. Pushing through just means the closet gets fuller. The Two Moments That Cracked Me Open In 2017 I overdosed. I should have died. By the grace of God I did not. And then my brother was murdered in 2021. Those two things together broke something loose in me that I could not hold down anymore. I started asking a question I had been running from my whole life: why? Why did God spare me? Why was my brother taken? What is the point of any of this if I keep living the way I was living? I did not want my brother's death to be in vain. That became the thing. That became the reason I finally stopped holding the beach ball under water and let it come up. But here is the part that I want every founder reading this to hear. The thing that actually changed me was not the crisis. Plenty of people have crises and change nothing. The thing that changed me was the willingness to be honest. To let my guard down. To stop performing and start telling the truth about what was actually going on inside. That is when things started to shift. Not when the pain came. When I stopped hiding it. What Matt Got Right Matt said something at Teach Passion that I keep coming back to. He said the most important question for a leader is not how do I grow my business. It is how well am I leading my own heart. He said you can have great thoughts, a great team, a great culture, a great personal life on paper, and still be bleeding out on the inside. And that internal bleeding will eventually show up in every room you walk into. He cited Jesus: what good is it for someone to gain the whole world and forfeit their soul? I used to read that as a spiritual warning. Now I read it as a leadership warning too. Because I have seen what it looks like to gain the whole world and forfeit your soul. I lived it. The revenue was real. The emptiness was realer. Here is what I know now that I wish someone had told me at twenty-five: peace is the compass. When there is no peace, something is unprocessed. Something is still in the closet. Something is still being held underwater. And no strategy, no hire, no revenue milestone is going to fix a heart problem. The Question You Cannot Business-Plan Your Way Around Most founders reading this are good at building systems for everything except themselves. We have operating systems for our companies and nothing for our hearts. We have quarterly reviews for our teams and have never once sat down to honestly review what we are carrying. So here is the question Matt put in front of the room at Teach Passion Summit, and I want to put it in front of you now. What are you holding underwater right now that is already showing up in your leadership? You do not have to have a crisis to answer that question. You just have to be willing to be honest. That willingness is where it starts. I know because it is where it started for me. Ideas in this post were inspired by Matt Keller's talk at the Teach Passion Summit in Pittsburgh. The next Teach Passion Summit is January 27-28, 2027.
By Benny Fisher March 6, 2026
I sat across from her and I already knew. She was still showing up. Still hitting her hours. Still answering emails. But something had shifted. The energy she once brought into a room, that do-whatever-it-takes fire, it was gone. And I had watched it drain out slowly for months, probably a year, and told myself it was fine. It was not fine. She was on my leadership team. Talented. Had been all-in once. But somewhere along the way the alignment broke, and I either didn't see it or didn't want to deal with it. And while I was looking the other way, she started setting the tone for everyone around her. Not with words. Just with energy. And energy is contagious, in both directions. That cost me more than a line item on a P&L. It cost me my own peace of mind. There is a specific kind of drain that comes from leading someone who is checked out and pretending they haven't. You feel it in your gut. You carry it home. The Number That Should Stop You Cold. Andrew Reichert , Founder and CEO of Birgo , shared something at a recent event that I have not been able to shake. He said 85% of employees globally are disengaged. Not fired up. Not checked out. Just there. Physically present, mentally somewhere else. He put a number on what that costs: $16,000 per employee per year in lost productivity and profit. Do that math for your company right now. I will wait. He also said something that landed differently. More people dread going to work than dread getting a root canal. People will literally drive to a dentist chair before they drive into their own office. That is not a staffing problem. That is a culture problem. And the culture problem almost always traces back to one thing: misalignment. Misalignment Is the Disease. Disengagement Is Just the Fever. Most founders, when they see an engagement problem, go looking for an engagement solution. New perks. Team retreats. A better onboarding deck. I have done all of it. Andrew's point, and I believe he is right, is that engagement is a symptom. The root cause is misalignment. When someone is doing work that doesn't connect to who they are, what they are good at, or what they feel called to do, no ping pong table is going to fix that. For me, peace has always been the compass. When there is no peace, something is out of alignment. I have learned to feel it in my team and eventually learned to feel it in myself. But the self-awareness came late, and it came at a cost. The Season I Was the Leak Here is the confession part. There was a stretch where I found my real calling. Helping other founders. Sitting across from contractors and entrepreneurs who were drowning and watching something shift in them when they finally felt seen. That lit me up in a way that roofing never had. So I leaned into it. And while I was out doing that work, my own company started to drift. Culture decisions that needed my attention didn't get it. Hiring moments where I should have been present, I wasn't. I told myself I was letting go, trusting the team, being a visionary. That is a clean story. The real story is that my heart had moved on and my company could feel it. I was the $16,000 leak. Probably more. The clearest signal? When the opportunity came to sell, my gut said yes immediately. Not because the offer was perfect. Because someone else needed to be driving that company more than I did. Someone more aligned to the people, to the craft, to Pittsburgh roofing. I had outgrown the role I built, and staying would have cost everyone around me. What Alignment Actually Looks Like Andrew runs his company on what he calls the Rhino Operating System . Five components: who you are, why you are here, what you do, how you execute, and when you operate at your best. The goal is convergence, getting 50% or more of your work sitting at the intersection of your purpose, your passion, and your proficiency. That framework resonated with me because it is not just an HR concept. It is a stewardship concept. God wired every person with specific gifts and a specific calling. When those are not being used, something inside that person goes quiet. And when enough people on your team go quiet, you get a company full of bodies and a culture full of air. The question Andrew pushed us with was simple and uncomfortable: do you actually know your top three people's unique abilities? Not their job description. Their actual wiring. What they were made for. And have you helped them see how that connects to what your company exists to do? Most of us have not. I know I had not. The Question You Have to Sit With Before you build a new culture plan or schedule an offsite or hire another person into a broken system, I want you to answer one question honestly. Is the most misaligned person in your company you? Are you still in this role because you are called to it, or because you built it and leaving feels like failure? Are you present or are you just showing up? Is there peace when you think about Monday morning, or is there dread dressed up as discipline? Because your team can feel your answer before you admit it to yourself. The $16,000 leak is real. But the most expensive leak in most companies is not sitting in accounting or sales. It is sitting at the head of the table.
By Benny Fisher February 26, 2026
Most founders don’t burn out because they’re weak. They burn out because they’re carrying too much. I know, because I’ve been there. From the outside, everything looks fine... the company is growing, the revenue is healthy, the team is busy. But on the inside, it feels like you’re suffocating in a business you built. The very thing that was supposed to give you freedom now feels like a cage. I remember the nights lying awake, wondering if I was the problem. I remember the exhaustion of trying to hold it all together. I remember thinking, If this is success, why do I feel so empty? That’s why I created Visionary Navigator Services. Not as a product. Not as a program. But as a way to walk with leaders through the fog — so they don’t have to walk it alone. Every founder’s journey looks different. That’s why I built five unique pathways. Here’s what they look like in real life. The Little Fish Sometimes all a founder needs is one conversation to change everything. I’ve seen leaders come in with a single issue, a tough hire, a partnership conflict, a decision they’ve been spinning on for months and walk out with total clarity. The Little Fish is a one-time clarity session. It’s the quickest way to set your compass straight when you know you can’t afford to stay stuck. The Deep Dive The Deep Dive is for founders who need immersion, but don’t want to be left alone afterward. It starts with a one-day session at my home in Pittsburgh. We cover the walls with playbooks, go deep into systems and sales, and even explore AI tools to save time and energy. We break bread together, we talk about life, and we reset vision. Later in the year, I travel to the founder’s business or home for another full day. That way, we get both perspectives: their world and mine. In between, bi-weekly check-ins keep the momentum alive. It’s clarity you can feel immediately and sustain all year long. The Compass The Compass is for leaders who need alignment across their whole team. I travel quarterly to their business. Three of those sessions are focused tune-ups, while the annual is a two-day deep dive into vision, operations, and systems. One of my favorite Compass stories was working with two brothers. Their business looked strong, but underneath it was tearing them apart. Through our sessions, they realized the best path was to part ways. Less than a year later, one sold for millions. The other has clarity like never before, building a business that finally fits who he is. The Compass isn’t about fixing people. It’s about giving the team clear direction so everyone can row in the same direction again. The Convergence Some founders don’t want to choose between personal clarity and team alignment, they want both. That’s the Convergence. It combines the Deep Dive rhythm with the Compass structure, plus two bonus days each year to use however they want. One founder used those bonus days for hands-on sales training and what we called a fire drill, running scenarios with his leadership team to see if they could handle challenges without pulling him back into the weeds. It was eye-opening for everyone. The Convergence is for leaders scaling fast who need every gear in sync, vision, systems, and people. The One And then there’s the highest level: The One. This is for founders who want maximum access. Monthly in-person days, calls as needed, and me in their corner every step of the way. One founder I walked with faced the lonely road of deciding whether to sell to private equity. Together we weighed offers, hired a second-in-command, installed a sales system, and dealt with deep team conflict. The One gave him what he needed most: perspective, clarity, and peace while he carried the weight no one else could see. Why It Matters These aren’t just packages. They’re lifelines. Because the truth is, no founder is broken. They’re just carrying too much, too fast, for too long. When you have someone walking with you, someone who sees the bigger picture, who listens without judgment, who helps you align your decisions with who you are and where you’re called to go... everything changes. The fog lifts. The weight lightens. The road feels possible again. My Invitation Every Visionary Navigator journey includes access to The Pond: our founder community where no leader navigates alone. You can read more about that in this website. But this is where it starts: choosing the path that fits your season. Whether it’s the quick clarity of the Little Fish , the immersion of the Deep Dive , the alignment of the Compass , the integration of the Convergence , or the intimacy of The One. I don’t promise to fix everything. But I do promise this: I’ll walk with you. Through the fog. Through the questions. Through the road ahead. 
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